July 14, 2010 4:53am
It definitely has been a long time since I’ve written anything worth reading. Since my last written [entry] I noticed my creativity was best illustrated with a click of the button; I merely reblogged photos that tickled my fancy.
It is 4:53am right now and I find myself gazing outside my window imagining how fresh the cold air is. As I listen to Debussy’s Clair de lune, I can’t help but notice how nice and peaceful the night sky is. People tend to find realization after a traumatic or life altering event. I think I’ve discovered something rather unique. To explain what I am feeling is near impossible. It is something that could enliven any room, something that can bring a smile to anyone in anguish, and something that can create the sense of safety and security to anyone needing so.
These past months have been a blessing, as any. I have finally found happiness. There has always been uncertainty about my future and what my priorities / contributions consist of in this life. I felt “content” of where I was at in 2009. I wasn’t as much happy, but living a so-so life. I was transitioning from one major to another understanding the repercussions of my new found decision and goal in life. I was in a relationship that was filled with uncertainty due to her kissing another guy in front of me; I was working at a place that I felt was a means to an end. I really did feel as though God was testing me: a test of endurance, integrity, strength, and will. Come August of 2009, he would again put me to the test. This time a test of Understanding. Life is definitely short; it should be lived and appreciated. This I finally discovered.
Everyone has their place and has their part to make the world go ‘round. I look back now and I can’t help but smile and even laugh; particularly the blueprint I was sought to follow. Destiny has its ways of meddling in peoples lives. I for one thought I would have graduated from College by now, but I’m glad I didn’t settle. I thought if I stuck it through with the ex, I’d rely on time to alleviate my worries; I’m glad things ended the way it did. I thought I would not have been able to find my dream job, but I’m glad persistence pushed me through my doubts. And love? I’m glad through trials and tribulations I’ve found someone who can make me feel happy, elated, and comfortable with who I am.
Growing up is hard to do and sometimes people find themselves unsure with what they want, what is beneficial, and most importantly what makes them happy. I find that rather than look for something tangible to fill your void, look for the things that make you happy. Every journey in life should be meaningful. Every start of an adventure should be exhilarating. Every moment of your life should be made making history. If one day you wake up and want to be a writer, pick up a pen and write what’s on your mind. If one day you wake up and you want to be a dancer, pick up your most comfortable shoes and dance your heart out. If one day you wake up and want to be a singer, take a deep breath and sing your soul out. But the day you realize you want to be happy, take a deep breath, pick up your most comfortable shoes, prepare your mind, and live your life out. Being happy shouldn’t be the end result of your blueprint, it should be the beginning.
C’est la vie.
-Erik Alicante
